zooeyclairedeschahell:

“cool jeans,” i tell a cute boy

little did he know that i actually talking about his genes because those chromosomes have combined beautifully ay papi

(Source: zooeyclairedeschanel)

zeloismybaby:

kindred-spiritss:

hamfarto:

dildos-and-debutantes:

rescuerhera:

thejoshinator:

mpregbert:

ghostgiggles:

if you play an instrument youre automatically 10x hotter im sorry thats just how the world works

how the fuck do you play the mayonnaise

ask Patrick Star

(Source: pekoyarna)

laughcentre:

sometimes when its quiet i just dream about being a housewife and making breakfast in a bag for the kids and picking them up from school then make dinner and tuck them in and just dust off my apron and slap my hands together like those mothers in movies then i realize im a fat 17 year old asian boy

nyozeka:

i hope my first child is a dragon

mosoli:

im still laughing at this

Just a friendly reminder that you don’t have to justify your taste in music, movies, or books to anyone and if certain people make you feel bad or ashamed over stuff you like you should probably just tell them to fuck off.

(Source: formermaleprostitute)

in-castiel-we-trust:

pleaseimbeyonce:

jared is basically the size of a door

I looked at this and looked at my door like 5 times…

boygrimlark:

scout-ebubbles:

docot:

freddybenson:

leovaldezstyle:

freddybenson:

A

B

C

the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours

D

E

butteredbandits:

To anyone that’s taking this as hard fact just go scroll through the Yahoo twitter. 

(Source: idgafimawesome)

lolsofunny:

(lol here!)

lolsofunny:

(lol here!)

(Source: there-is-no-emotion)